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How Do You Spell Lohse


It feels like we just hopped in the local Tyme Machine and are visiting the Kings of Cork website in 2010. Or this is Deja-vu seeing two consecutive articles featuring the name Suppan.

So what’s all this Suppan talk about today? The Brewers just signed Kyle Lohse. At first glance, every Brewer fan is saying ‘Awesome, we need starting pitching… bad.’ After closer examination (and comparison), Brewer fan’s might be spelling Lohse ‘S-U-P-P-A-N’ by the end of the season.

Let’s run some numbers (it’s what geeks like us do):

  1. Suppan was signed by the Brewers in 2007 for 4 years at $42M. Lohse was signed today by the Brewers for 3 years at $33M.
    1. Suppan played for the Cardinals in 2006. Lohse played for the Cardinals in 2012.
  2. Suppan had a career 4.70 ERA. Lohse has a career 4.44 ERA.
    1. Suppan ended his Cardinal career with his two best seasons (4.12 and 3.57 ERA). Lohse ended his Cardinal career with his two best seasons (3.39 and 2.86 ERA).
    2. Suppan had a 4.95 ERA for all his seasons as a Brewer.
  3. Suppan had a career 4.92 K/9IP. Lohse has a career 5.66 K/9IP.
    1. Suppan had a 5.16 K/9IP for the Cardinals. Lohse had a 5.63 K/9IP for the Cardinals.
    2. Suppan had a 4.66 K/9IP for all his seasons as a Brewer.
  4. Suppan had a career 1.19 HR/9IP. Lohse has a career 1.07 HR/9IP.
    1. Suppan had a 1.10 HR/9IP for the Cardinals. Lohse had a 0.87 HR/9IP for the Cardinals.
    2. Suppan had a 1.20 HR/9IP for all his seasons as a Brewer.
  5. Suppan had a career 10.06 H/9IP. Lohse has a career 9.75 H/9IP.
    1. Suppan had a 9.52 H/9IP for the Cardinals. Lohse had a 9.29 H/9IP for the Cardinals.
    2. Suppan had a 10.85 H/9IP for all his seasons as a Brewer.

Just when my blood pressure was beginning to lower during the Brewers starting rotation (relief pitching is a different story), the Brewers organization signed another player whose name is spelled ‘S-U-P-P-A-N’ on the back of his jersey.

History does appear to be repeating itself… just a little too soon for Brewer fans.

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Another Season Older… Another Suppan Sighting

Those of you who either know me well or have followed the HR Derby from the 2010 inception know their is one MLB player I loathe (only because of the contract he received from Milwaukee and his performance on that contract). His name… Jeff Suppan.

And what would be a Kings of Cork season without another Jeff Suppan sighting leading to another Jeff Suppan post. This story has a little more truth behind it than the last Suppan seeking second job story.

For those of you who don’t keep close tabs on Suppan and his whereabouts, he was part of the Royals farm system in 2011. He followed that up with a brief stint with the Padres 2012 big league team recording 6 outings (1 quality and 2 wins) netting a 5.28 ERA. In 2013, he has not seen any offer he likes more than… running for congress?

The GOP needs someone in California, so why not Suppan? He’s already used to the pay of a politician and he has the same performance as a politician on that pay. Just take a look at his 2007-2010 stats with the Brewers $40M salary for those 4-years. I rest my case and will vote for Suppan for congress and 2016 president.

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The Brewers Get Soup in San Diego

Two nights after Ryan Braun lays down his final statements with 3-homers, a triple (4th homer missed by feet), and 6 RBI (the first 3-homer night EVER at Petco park)…

The Brewers get to see the Soup Nazi on the mound Wednesday night. Yes, the VERY Soup Nazi which yours truly is absolutely obsessed with (just run a search on Suppan in the site’s search bar above). I have nightmares from this guy pitching and still believe the Cardinals paid him to infiltrate the Brewers clubhouse.

Soup, who has been a journey man over the past few seasons, has been part of the Cardinals, Giants, Royals, and Padres since leaving the Brewers in 2010. It had to be one of the worst contracts Doug Melvin ever was a part of. Suppan was 29-36 with a 5.08 ERA over 4 seasons which the Brewers paid him $42 Million plus $2 Million to buy out the 2011 team option when he got cut in 2010. Yep, a small market club ate $14.5 Million in 2010 just to get rid of a hang nail named Soup. He was driving fans nuts. So much so, that one fan decided to sell Soup on Ebay and the winner received Bill Hall for free.

Well, I hope that Soup’s former teammates don’t take it easy on what is easily one of the worst contracts in Brewers history. Don’t get me wrong, Suppan seems like a great guy but as a fan who he let down, he can’t be surprised by the hostility the state of Wisconsin may have against him.

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Guess Who’s Back, Back Again

Cue the music:

Guess Who’s Back, Back, Back, Back Again, gain, gain… Soup is back, back, back, tell Doug Melvin

I almost choked on my lunch when I saw the news… Jeff Suppan signed a deal with the Padres today. As the locals know, me and Soup go waaaay back. He was one of the worst deals the Brewers made by overpaying for an out-of-his-prime, under preforming pitcher. He’s been covered here when the Brewers cut him, when the Cardinals re-signed him, and when the Giants signed him last season.

I thought I would get a season off from the Soup, but I must have jinxed myself by mentioning his name in the first 2012 post. The plus side is that he will only be helping the NL by throwing softballs to all players but the Padre offense. Seems like a good deal for me, until he no-hits the BrewCrew… The Padres signed Suppan to a $950K minor league deal. And it doesn’t even sound like he will get a chance to attend spring training. Instead, he will be used as a personal trainer for the Padres young arms. The only way he will see the bigs this season is if injuries start piling up on the Padres pitching staff (Yoda would never let that happen). Looks like I’m safe from my nightmares of him returning… for now.

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Dream Homes By Jeff Suppan

An interesting article for those non “Do-It-Yourselfers” who are already sick of updating their Fantasy Baseball Rosters two weeks into the season (or for those DIY fellows who also agree with Fred Romero and “Don’t have time for this *fill in blank here*” and all of your projects have stalled because you are concentrating on baseball… aka people like me).

Speaking of Do-It-Yourself (so you like to Do-It-Yourself?) home renovations, according to a very reliable news source, my favorite ex-Brewer Jeff Suppan is currently picking up side work to make ends meet in Omaha. A year after making $12.5 million with the Brewers plus getting the 2011 Buy-Out option of $2 million AND receiving the pro-rated league minimum from the Cardinals (who mistakenly signed the bum), Suppan is now playing for the Kansas City Royals minor league affiliate after already being cut from the Giants in 2011. Both teams signed the “Soup-pan” to minor league deals so both still owe him money, but it still isn’t enough to cover his Los Angeles restaurant “Soup’s Grill” (which doesn’t even specialize in soup which is even a bigger disappointment to me than his Brewer career).

To help pay his wife’s plastic surgeon mortgage, Jeff Suppan has agreed to help out local Omaha residents with “small pitching projects around the house“. I would take “Soup” up on his offer in a heart beat. I would make him throw cutter after cutter into my five 20-foot pine trees in the back yard until all are in campfire proportions. Or if his cutter can cut ceramic and glass tile with the 1/16th inch precision, he can finish my bathroom remodeling projects. I just want to see him fail in person so he can actually hear my jeers (and I can finally stop having nightmares of the 2008 playoffs).

It’s still scary that somehow Suppan keeps getting closer and closer to my actual residence…

Double fist bump to my brother-in-law, Too High?, for keeping me informed on my most hated Brewer’s life struggles.

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Rockie Fans Rejoice… and Brewer Fans

Welcome back baseball.

It was a long, cold winter without you but you have already given the NL West (minus the reigning champions) and Brewer fans something to smile about:

Matt Cain pitches 3 remarkable innings only to have the Brewers rally 6 runs off of their own ex-$42 million, 4 year mistake… Jeff Suppan.

I hope “Soup” makes the Giants big-league roster (preferably as a starter, but most likely as a middle reliever) only for one reason: So I can wear a “Soup Nazi” outfit yelling “No Soup For You” when he enters a game versus the Brewers.

As I said, National League teams Rejoice for the reigning champs are throwing the 2011 season by employing Suppan.

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Brewers 2009 Roster Signs Million Dollar Minor League Deal

Something to read before watching the Green And Yellow blow out the Black And Yellow in Superbowl XLV.

With MLB baseball less than 2 months away, every team is still acquireing players as stop gaps for all their injury prone batters and glass arm pitchers… aka Rickie Weeks. And it looks like teams are turning to the entire 2009 Brewers roster for this help. Or so it feels like.

Just reported today via MLBTradeRumors, three of the Brewers 2009 starting rotaion was picked up for $1 million dollar minor league deals along with the Brewers 2009 utility infielder. The three starters managed to combine for a 5.53 ERA in 2009, so they probably don’t deserve much more than these deals (if any deal at all).


Jeff Suppan – If you are an avid reader of KingsofCork posts, you know my dislike towards this man. I might as well be called “The Soup Nazi“… and was happy to chear “No Soup For You” when the Brewers finally released him. So I am more than happy to announce that there may be more Jeff Suppan Hate Posts here on Kings Of Cork for the 2011 MLB season. Reports say Suppan signed a minor league deal with the San Francisco Giants for $1 Million this season. If Suppan ever gets called up, it most likely means that the Giants will not be repeating as National Champions. I do hope Soup gets called up for a game against the Brewers just so the team can get a little payback for the money they lost investing into him.

Dave Bush – “Fear the Beer with the Beard”. Dave Bush had one mean beard when he was on the mound but that was the only thing mean with this pitcher. No mean fastball, no mean changeup, no mean curve, he was just hittable and hoped his defense was strong enough behind him to stop the bleeding. However, this is a pitcher who recieved 8 Rookie Of The Year votes in 2004 with Toronto. He just never lived up to that hype again. Instead, Bush is now going to be pitching for the minor league Ranger affiliates for $1 million. The Rangers do have the Brewers ex-pitching coach, Mike Maddux, so he knows what he’s getting into.

Braden Looper – Another ex-cardinal that is almost over-the-hill that the Brewers overpaid for. He has been out of work for over a year, but that didn’t stop the Cubs from giving him a $1 million contract. Anything to make the Cubs worse, I’m ok with. Although, it’s a bit safer than the Oakland A’s Ben Sheets contract last season.

Felipe Lopez – An everyday utility man who can play 8 positions… he only hasn’t played catcher. Also a member of the 2009 Brewers that didn’t pan out, the Rays have taken some of there off-season savings and spent a million on a minor league deal for Lopez. Out of the four, this is the one player I would want.

Hey, if teams are just giving away a million dollars these days, I will gladly accept a deal to catch and throw a ball around for a minor league team. Because let’s face it, none of these guys will or should be in the bigs this season.

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Brewers Marketing Department Sells Everything But The Break Room Sink

We have discussed before that Wisconsinites love gimmicks. To get them off their couches or out of the bars to the actual game, it usually takes some shtick or free swag. And the Milwaukee Brewers Marketing Department outdid themselves for this 2011 season.

Photo Courtesy of The NY Times 2007

With the addition of Zack Greinke this off-season, the Brewers season ticket sales didn’t really need any boosting by adding 1500 new season ticket holders only 3 days after the acquisition. But that didn’t stop the marketing department to pull out all the stops (well, they could have brought back the Beer Chalet too but we will let that slide for now).

Every person who purchases full season tickets or a 20-game pack will be entered into the Fantastic 40 drawing. What is the Fantastic 40 drawing you may ask. Well, it’s one of the greatest marketing campaigns since the infomercial “Buy One, Get One Free” gimmick. Heck, this even rivals the Kia Motors “Buy a Sedona mini-van, Get a Kia Rio for free” promotion in the early 2000’s.

The Milwaukee Brewers will have 1 drawing a day for 40 days starting on January 17 and ending on February 25. But, these aren’t ordinary prizes. These prizes entice all baseball fans. I’m even considering buying season tickets and I’m over a 500 mile round trip away from Miller Park. I wouldn’t be surprised to see “disappointed with the off-season” Cubs fans buying season Brewer tickets for these prizes. For a full list of all 40 prizes click this link.

To see my personal favorites and the rest of the story: Follow the Jump…

Soup’s On… Again

The soup is hot. Come get it well it’s hot. Suppan was only out of a job for 5 days before someone picked him up (which means I get to make more Suppan posts).

And guess where he is staying… the NL Central. That’s right Brewer, Cubs, Astros, Reds, and Pirate fans; great news for you guys and bad news for the Cardinal fans. The Cardinals are close to sealing the deal and they would only owe Suppan a prorated portion of the MLB league minimum, while the Brewers still have to cough out the remaining portion of his $42 million. Is it just me or is getting fired in the MLB like getting suspended from school (stay home from school, sounds great!!)? You get to sign for a contender and get paid two salaries instead of one.

I’m starting to wonder if Suppan was just working for the Cardinals as an inside man. Blow every fifth game for the Brewers, unless you are playing the team in front off or directly behind the Cardinals in the standings. Maybe Braden Looper was working on the inside as well…

What does everyone think? Agree with the move or not? Remember the Cardinals do have 3 rookies currently in their rotation.

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No Soup For You!!!

Bad news for 5 teams in the NL Central… Great news for 1. The Brewers’ handicap has now been erased and the NL Central race is now a fair fight. The NL Central’s Runs Per Game Average is going to drop by at least 7 runs per game due to this news.

The Brewers have announced they are releasing the greatest pitcher in baseball (for their opponents to face). Jeff “Soup” Suppan was handed his train ticket and shown the I-94 East Exit. Next stop, 1060 West Addison Street. Ok maybe not Addison Street, but anywhere is better than Milwaukee. And I guarantee every Brewer fan is rejoicing (see the first comment here).

Can you believe this was a Boston Red Sox 2nd round draft pick in 1993 (49th overall). Ok so maybe he wasn’t always as bad as he was for the Brewers… Or was he. He made his professional debut in 1995 with the Bo-sox and ended the year with (drum roll please), a 5.96ERA with a 1.50 Whip. Alright, let’s cut him some slack that was through only 22 2/3 IP. His first full season came in 1997 where he started 22 games pitched over 112 innings and ended with an incredible 5.69ERA with a 1.57WHIP. Take a look at the chart below and he had only 2… Two… EF’n TWO!!!… years with a sub 4.00ERA and 1 season with a sub 1.30WHIP. I would rather keep Suppan for the rest of the season and fire the guy who even suggested signing him for 4 years and $42 million, the highest single season salary and biggest total dollars salary until Braun’s signing.
For the Rest of the Story: Follow the Jump…

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