So what gift does one get for accomplishing one of the most rare baseball feats as a pitcher…
- If you are the 18th major leaguer to achieve a perfect game, your wife would commission some of the greatest custom motorcycle designers to create your dream chopper.
- If you are the 19th major league pitcher to retire 27 consecutive batters in a single game, you would receive an authentic nihontÅ from your sponsor Mizuno.
- If you are ALMOST the 21st pitcher but the ump blew the call, you would receive a sweet new corvette as your consolation prize.
But you are the 20th MLB pitcher, Mr. Roy “Doc” Halladay to not allow a single opponent in a single game to stand on first base, so what should you get (besides the $15.75 million you are promised for this season).
- How about a $100,000 case for your iPhone. I’m sure we can even get a personalized engraving of “The Doc” in diamonds for an extra $50,000.
- Not good enough? How ’bout a $52,000 golf cart manufactured by the same factory as Porsche Boxters. Carbon fiber roof, mini-fridge, 4hp engine… Oh, you don’t golf? I’m sure you could use it for your entrance from the bullpen to the dugout at the beginning of the game.
- How bout a case of $16,000 per bottle 50 year old Glenfiddich Scottish whiskey. It’s been in that oak cask for 26,280,000. It’s seen 15 of the perfect games in MLB history. After the 9th inning of your 30th win this season, you could be enjoying a sip from the finest, most rare whiskey in the world.
- You don’t drink whiskey? How would you like to have your own chimpanzee. Sure he is 7 times stronger than you. Sure he’s injured his previous owners with the bars from his own cage. But look at him, he’s so cool. Just think you could have your own fighting monkey waiting for you to duel with swords when you come home from a hard day on the mound.
- The monkey scares you… Then what about a $25 million watch. Sure it has some pink in it, and you can barely see the watch face, but its $25 million.
None of that does it for you? I give up. Here just have a fishing pole… What that’s all you wanted.
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