Brian Wilson – Making James Lipton Interviews Interesting

Baseball is officially over. No more Corked Bats talk, no more Griffey, and no more Nationals Machine… for more than a year. Catcher and Pitchers report in 102 days, but there may be talks about a different Machine before then.

Meet the San Francisco’s (new World Series Champions) Closer, Brian Wilson. This guy knows how to give interviews and keep everyone on their toes. Check out the video below which is a best of show of Brian Wilson. He references “The Machine” several times (referring to the mask over there to the right).

What is “The Machine”? No one knows except “The Machine” and Brian Wilson. Some believe that Brian Wilson is into some crazy bondage, others suspect that it is the main killer in the Nicolas Cage movie “8mm”. The killer calls himself “The Machine” and I will spare the details but he isn’t too friendly with the ladies. (Check out this review of 8mm.) Whatever it is, he better be getting cash from Nicolas Cage for mentioning “The Machine”. The way this is exploding in the media, 8mm may be at the top of the box office this weekend.

Seriously, this is THE ONLY professional athlete that should be allowed to be interviewed. All the others say the same boring stuff about how this was their day and they owe it to the rest of their team and they just needed to fight hard through thick and thin… Give me a break, most of them come off like they have an IQ of 5. In fact, Brian Wilson should host SNL. I would tune into over-the-air television for that. If he was even on Leno, I would most likely tune into that programming. If Conan doesn’t have a first guest, he better be calling “The Machine”.

In the clip you heard him mention being fined $1000 for having “too much awesomeness on his feet” aka having bright orange shoes that don’t meet the MLB dress code. What he doesn’t tell you is that he used a sharpie, colored 50% of them in, and wore them out on the mound for the next game. Someone asked him how much he knew to color in and he quotes “I’ve got pretty good eyes. I think I can eyeball 50 percent.” This guy gives me hope that more athletes drop the dumb jock interviews and pick up on the humor… even if they truly are dumb jocks.

As a parting gift, I give you one more Brian Wilson clip.

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2 Responses
  1. The Commish says:

    His Betty White interview is pretty damn hilarious. But I would like to see him interview ‘The Machine’. I don’t think James Lipton could handle it.

  2. CJ Pruitt says:

    the title made me laugh. Those are some damn boring interviews.

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