Expect The Unexpected – Baseball’s Current Personalities

Something to keep you busy while dropping the kids off at the pool in the 5th inning.

About this time every year, CBS’s hit Reality TV series, Big Brother, grabs hold of the TV ratings. The reality game show that takes 13 strangers and locks them in a house for almost 3 months with 52 cameras and 95 microphones capturing every move. Now, you can imagine what happens to people when they are locked in a house with no access to anything or any information outside of the house. No TV. No news. No phones. And no Kings of Cork. People begin to go crazy and usually CBS is pretty good about selecting wild personalities for the season (its more interesting when the ‘players’ are known to potentially snap at any moment).

If I were locked in said house for 3 months, I’m not sure how I would survive without my fantasy baseball and Milwaukee Brewers. As you can tell, I’m kind of a fan of the show and plan on watching 3 episodes a week for the next 10-12 weeks. But it got me thinking… If MLB could select its best personalities currently in the game, who would make the best reality TV drama? Well if I were choosing the personalities, here’s who I would select and who they remind me of most from Big Brother seasons:

  • Ozzie Guillen (Evil Dick) – It’s a signature on Big Brother to have that one insane older player. The player that is having a mid-life crisis and wants to give youth one last shot. Well, Ozzie Guillen would be that player. The White Sox skipper is known for his untraditional coaching style. If he’s upset about something, he lets EVERYONE know about it (just like Evil Dick). For instance, just this season he got in a heated debate during the crosstown rivalry and lost it when the umpire called a ball fair in-front of the plate and Alexi Ramirez was tagged out. Ozzie got his moneys worth after he was ejected. At one point, he kicked Cubs Catcher Geovany Soto’s mask to the backstop and the expression on Soto’s face is priceless (Check out the video here). Just as good as his on-field performances are Guillen’s post-game interviews. He’s had epic rants in the past and earlier this season, Ozzie went on a tirade after getting hit in the face by a foul ball and losing in extra innings by a wild pitch. Check out the video here. One thing is for certain, Ozzie Guillen would not be a good little league coach. Feel free to follow Ozzie on twitter to catch every rant.
  • Logan Morrison (Eric Stein aka “America’s Player”) – This guy is a rookie but he definitely is no rookie with technology. LoMo should be known as “America’s Player” because he is a major “Twittaholic”, with already posting over 8k tweets and having 3 times the standard Marlin game attendance as followers on Twitter. Just like Big Brother’s “America’s Player”, he was recently voted out of the game for his actions to appease America and got demoted to the minors for no apparent reason. He was playing great for a horrible team with the only possible reason to be demoted was due to his excessive tweeting. Just ask Marlin catcher, John Buck. At one point during the season, when his coach asked him what he was going to do after the game, he responded “I’m going to go home to play with Twitter.” Which the 80+ skipper responded, “what kind of dog is he?” Older generations and technology. Some just don’t get it.
  • Brian Wilson (Dr. Will) – “The Beard” has one heck of a personality just like Dr. Will (we’ve covered him before on KoC). Both are looking for a laugh. Both have an ‘evil’ side. And both are very controlling, manipulative, and the center of attention. Whether Brian Wilson is raging or playing dress up with ‘the machine’, one thing that remains unknown is how long will his beard last. His beard has outlasted Adam’s beard on this season of Big Brother. I would guess he isn’t able to shave it anytime soon seeing as he’s on the DL with elbow soreness.
  • Nyjer Morgan (Jesse Godderz) – Like Jesse, Nyjer is very full of himself and could talk about himself (or T-Plush) all day. Nyjer gave himself the nickname “Tony Plush” back in his more youthful years and uses it as his on-field persona. T-Plush aka T-Dot aka Tony Gumbo brings entertainment to every game. Whether its doing the Usain Bolt and then almost being hit by a line drive in the dugout, or being attacked by a trapped hawk trapped in Miller Park (the hawk also has a twitter page), or egging on Giant fans after robbing base hits. Tony Plush is a character who breathes Plushdamentals and you either love him or hate him. Currently, I love him since he is a Brewer and very entertaining. But on any other team, I wouldn’t be able to stand him.

Those are my few selections on who brings quirkiness and fun to a child’s game. If you think I missed anyone, feel free to post below.

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One Response
  1. Noah's Longballers says:

    Hey, I don’t know why, but you should do a bit on the MLB Fan Cave. mlbfancave.com