Miami’s New Stadium: Innovative or Just Plain Ugly??

We all knew the Marlins had something cooking this offseason when they went after Pujols, Reyes, Buehrle, and CJ Wilson all at once. And they successfully signed 2 of them: Reyes and Buehrle. The required re-building project that was forgotten about though was the new stadium needed for the move to Miami.

Well here it is:

Or is it…

I will admit, that stadium looks awesome in CGI. The retractable roof looks to be a better design than the leaky roof of Miller Park. The retractable windows/walls on the outfield concourse (again, similar to Miller Park) look to be large and should allow a stiff sea breeze in. And the look of the exterior seems to be ‘out of this world’ or spaceship-esque. But what the animators forgot to include was the home run sculpture. It appears they left a spot for it in the CGI video (the pool looking blue spot in left center) but were too embarrassed to include. Or maybe their CGI software didn’t have dolphins, or seagulls, or marlins or the ability to create something as hideous as their new uniforms what you are about to see below:

Are those intended to be seagulls or chickens

I thoroughly enjoy home run celebrations for the home team at a park. I can still remember the first time I watched Bernie Brewer slide down into a mug of beer at County Stadium (Bernie’s Chalet was way better than Bernie’s Dugout). But this is about as good as my 3rd grade coloring contest entries. It’s not only an eye-sore straight from a front yard from the 70’s (pink flamingo’s anyone), but it also has moving fish/birds and flashing lights. Which means that it was even more expensive to design mechanics rather than just stopping at a stationary sculpture. Check out what Marlin fans will be watching at aminimum of 40 times this season after Stanton hits 40+ homers (Mike Stanton is in Group A of the HomeRun Derby this year):

To make matters even worse, the Marlins decided to throw in some aquariums behind home plate. A unique idea but none of the stadium designers must have had fish tanks growing up. Sure they double layered the fish tank glass and had Gaby Sanchez test their durability, but I’m almost positive that a ball striking the glass will send enough vibrations through the tank that any fish in the vicinity will be belly up due to extreme pressure pulses transferred through the water. Some poor father is going to have to explain to their 5-yr old kid why that fish is swimming upside down after the 3rd inning.

It should be an interesting season for the rebuilt Marlins, maybe next offseason they will spend more time rebuilding their new stadium’s eyesores instead of their physical team.

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One Response
  1. CJ Pruitt says:

    wow that home run feature is just…just…um…amazing?