Mariners Request Two DH Spots

Instead of surfing the world wide web for hilarious cat videos (that one is almost as funny as this one), you should be researching crazy baseball statistics.

Such as, comparing the combined batting average of all the Mariner shortstops versus the combined batting average of all the National League pitchers. Sure the NL has pitchers that are true gamers, like Samardzija/Gallardo/Gio/Kershaw/Stults/Miley/Hudson who all have home runs in 2013. Or how about Leake/Hudson/Teheron/Zito/Stults/Ryu/Bailey who are all batting over 0.250. But the fact is that pitchers are still batting a combined 0.124.

That’s not very good… but it is better than the Mariners’ shortstops who are batting 0.121. That is miserable. Brendan Ryan and Robert Andino just can’t get the bat on the ball. Andino has played 10 games at SS and has recorded 3 total hits for a 0.086 batting average. Brendan Ryan is helping the duo by batting 0.133 in 31 games. At least Ryan can say he is out hitting NL pitchers.

So there are two options for the Mariners and only two options:

  1. Request the use of two DH spots and sign Barry Bonds.
  2. Allow their pitchers to hit and use their DH for the SS bat.

If they decide to go with option 2, maybe they can sign Bigfoot to their starting rotation. Reports are he was last seen at Safeco Field and I bet he can hit the ball a ton.

Category: Baseball Nonsense  Tags:
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