MLB Comedy Club

This has been a slow baseball story year… at least it feels like it to me.

Biogenesis has come and gone (others continue to talk about it… boring). There are some close division races. Trades have been minimal. But finally, the boys have loosened up a bit out on the field. The Marlins and Diamondbacks have some kind of wrestling fetish going on. John Buck had an incident with a wiener in Milwaukee. But the past few days have been more like a comedy club out on the diamond.

So, I’ll be your MC for today’s show. And you guys are in for a treat as our first act comes straight to us from the runaway NL East. Give it up for Chris Johnson.

Chris Johnson was ejected from a game this past Saturday for arguing balls and strikes. Knowing he was in the wrong (come on, I even know not to argue about the umps job), Chris Johnson decided to take self humility as a way to earn back Jim Joyce’s trust (maybe also a bribe to help Johnson win the hitting title?). Before Sunday’s game, Chris Johnson literally taped his mouth shut so that he couldn’t argue with the ump. This was also valuable lesson for all the teenagers out there…

Second in our act tonight is a comedy duo. Put your hands together for Billy Beane and John Daniels.

The A’s and the Rangers’ front offices are messing with Adam Rosales’ mind. How you ask? Here are the past 6 events for Rosales MLB career:

  1. On July 31st, the A’s designated Rosales for assignment, aka a demotion to the Minors, to make room for another player in the Bigs.
  2. On August 2nd, the Rangers claimed Rosales from waivers due the designation.
  3. On August 5th, the Rangers demoted him once again to the Minors.
  4. On August 8th, the A’s claimed him back from the Rangers from waivers and had him arrive with the team in Toronto.
  5. But the A’s weren’t ready to keep him and demoted Rosales to the Minors yet again on August 10th.
  6. But guess who really wanted Rosales, the Rangers. They again have claimed Rosales off of waivers… but for how long?

Just think of how many extra frequent flyer miles Rosales and his family are receiving the past 12 days. They may be able to take a free vacation to Oakland soon.

Our next act will definitely make you LOL. Here’s JJ Putz.

How do you make a really bad closer look even worse??? Blair entrance music in the middle of his delivery…

And now the moment you have been waiting for tonight. Our headliner of the evening. Let me hear you give it up for Adrian Beltre.

Let’s let Beltre’s base running do the joke telling…

Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here for the next few months.

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