What is this Kings of Cork site?

– We are wine entrepreneurs currently located in the Cedar Valley… Ok not really… beer entrepreneur… maybe… no, but this site is dedicated to the Kings of Cork Home Run Derby with a splash of baseball blogging. If you came looking for wine, I know where you can get some great cheese in Wisconsin to go with the Cubs Fans Wine.

What is this Home Run Derby thing you speak of?

-Similar to the MLB All-star game, we do a year long home run derby contest. You pick a select group of players from a given list and for the entire season you hope, pray, cling to the edge of your seat on every pitch they receive they hit out of the park. If your team collects the most home runs (aka homers, long balls, dingers, jacks, jonrons, souvieners, moonshots), you receive a gift from the league.

Why are you doing this?

-I am a Brewer fan at heart. And sad to say, in all the years I have been on this planet, I have only been granted the privilege of watching the Brewers compete in a post season once twice… and they exited early after their wild card birth and NLCS bid. This contest helps pass my time over the season after I have watched the Brewers starting pitching combine for a 5.00 season ERA or blowing a 20 game division lead. So if you are a (but not limited to) Astros, Reds, Pirates, Nationals, Mariners, Padres, Orioles, Blue Jays, or Royals fan, this contest may be for you.

Did you say Brewers fan?

-Yes I know… I know… I don’t follow the crowd and cheer for the Yankees or the Cubs. I grew up watching Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Pat Listache, Greg Vaughn, Cal Eldred, and Jose Valentin. But the Brewer that brought me back to the sport after the 1994 baseball strike was Jose Hernandez. When your team can’t break the 0.500 mark in 10 yrs, you start rooting for the players to break records, good or bad. I can remember cheering for Jose to break the single season strike out record (for a batter), and he promptly benched himself so that he wouldn’t break the record. That’s all I’ve got going for me as a Brewer fan. I’m also secretly a Royals fan. Big fan of the George Brett (too much pine tar), Bo ‘Knows’ Jackson, and Brett Saberhagen days. Give me any choice of a baseball jersey number and I will always pick number 5.

How do I sign up for this home run derby?

-Well… If major league baseball is currently being played, you are too late. Better luck next year. If the season is over and the Yankees have claimed yet another ring and the top 5 free agents, you are in luck. The Home Run Derby sign-up sheet should be available February through March via the ‘Standings’ tab at the top of the page. Don’t worry, I will gladly accept your donation to my beer drinking fund.

Why is the commissioner a squirrel?

-Long story short… College nickname from freshman year… it stuck… can’t get rid of it… Tried to get people to call me “dude”, “great one”, “biggie”, “smalls”, “Biggie smalls”, “Steve”… nothing worked… stuck with Squirrel

You seem cool, can I work for you?

-Don’t ever call me cool. That is an insult to my kind. We accept compliments consisting of nerdy, geek, no-life lunatic, or fantasy fruit. And just like the rest of the world, the economic times at Kings of Cork are always in the trough. We never hire anyone. Especially people who visit the About page.

Since you are being a jerk, can I at least suggest an idea or post content to you?

-Again we only accept compliments consisting of nerdy, geek, no-life lunatic, or fantasy fruit… not jerk. And yes, you may suggest content for posts or ideas about the site and/or contest. Anything to make our lives easier here at Kings of Cork. Simply visit the contact page and fill out an email with your ideas or questions. Don’t worry, only 5 out of every 6 emails to the site get auto filtered to the trash.

What is the official language for the Kings of Cork?

-I’m glad you asked. As of May 26, 2010, the official language of the Kings of Cork was dubbed “slang”. Any forms, any language (French and German are encouraged).

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